The title heading of today’s post is an article from Philip M. Koszyk, MD and William Bernet, MD. It has excellent information on Parental Alienation (PA), a potent and damaging form of psychological child abuse affecting certain children originating from high-conflict divorcing families.
The first sentences from the article sets the stage for what children and parents affected by PA face:
“Parental alienation (PA) profoundly affects both children and alienated parents. Children of PA are at increased risk for future trust and relationship issues, depression, and substance abuse. For a rejected parent, the pain is excruciating…”
What makes this article particularly interesting to me is due to the fact it is written, in part, from the perspective of a physician—a gastroenterologist— who was alienated from his children. The children of professionals like doctors are usually not the type of individuals one imagines to be at risk for such damaging psychological problems in their families. This insightful article proves otherwise, that PA and PAS (Parental Alienation Syndrome) is an “equal opportunity pathogen” that does not discriminate due to race, gender, or financial status.
PA in its most extreme developmental phase (listed in the article as “severe”) is a serious mental illness which innocent children caught in the crossfires of their parents acrimonious divorce are subjected to:
“Severe PA means that the child persistently and adamantly refuses contact and may hide or run away to avoid being with the alienated parent. When the child manifests a severe level of PA, the alienating parent is usually obsessed with the goal of destroying the child’s relationship with the targeted parent. The alienating parent has little or no insight and is convinced of the righteousness of their behavior.”
I believe all three of my now adult children perfectly fit the description of being “severely alienated” from me. Throughout my 20 year study of these twin pathologies—PAS and PA—each and every single “benchmark” that PAS/PA experts list for making a finding of these twin pathologies in children dovetail perfectly with their behaviors towards me.
Also, the alienating behaviors of my ex-wife also perfectly fits the type of profile of a parent who has psychologically manipulated, brainwashed, and lied to their children which results in the disfavored parent (myself in this case) being 100% rejected by the indoctrinated children.
“When the child manifests a severe level of PA, the alienating parent is usually obsessed with the goal of destroying the child’s relationship with the targeted parent.“
There is no question, in my mind, based on two decades of experience in dealing with my estranged children and my ex-wife, that she purposely set out to destroy the once loving relationship that I shared with my children. Sadly and unfortunately, she was 100% successful in this twisted and evil endeavor.
I believe, though, that one day all three of my children will “wake up” and realize what their mother has done to them. Each of them will understand their current hatred towards me is unjustified and was implanted within them like poison slowly dripped into a patient through an IV. I further believe it will be my youngest daughter, the one who exhibits the greatest amount of hatred towards me, who will wake up first.