Marriage scams

November 8, 2023. I just had an interesting conversation with a customer. His name is Efrain and lives in Nogales, AZ. He called me several days ago wanting to buy some product. We set an appointment for today, at 11:00 a.m.

Because he lives in Nogales, AZ, I mentioned I used to live in Rio Rico, a small rural community just outside of Nogales. Rio Rico is where I built my house and where my ex-wife and our three daughters lived until my ex divorced me.

It is so interesting how some conversations get started. This one developed because Efrain mentioned his dad was an attorney and had many American men who were his dad’s clients when their Mexican wives divorced them. I told Efrain that is exactly what happened to me, that I married a Mexican woman who I met down in Nogales, Mexico, and we got married.

Efrain said he knows many American men who did exactly what I did (marrying a Mexican woman) and how their marriages ended up exactly like mine did as well: in divorce with the woman leaving wealthy.

We had a long conversation about this, and Efrain said this type of situation is very common. One thing different than my situation, though, is most of the men who Efrain spoke about were much older than the women they married. Several of the men he told me about were in their sixties or early seventies and they married beautiful Mexican woman in their 20’s, only to have these women divorce them after they had several children.

Efrain said this kind of situation is all too common, that many American men have no idea what they are getting into when they marry someone “across the line.” He told me he would ask some of these older men if they really thought these young, beautiful Hispanic women in their 20’s really were attracted to him in the first place or if they realized there were other factors coming into play in these types of scenarios.

He told some of these men they ought to have pre-nups filled out and signed by these young beauties before entering into marriage; if they agreed to this, this would mean they loved them for who they were and were not out for only their money.

I told Efrain he ought to start a podcast and dispense his wisdom among the vast group of foolish and gullible American men—like me—who had zero clue that some women actually engage in these type of nefarious liaisons solely to end up divorcing them after marrying and having children with them.

All I can say is this ploy works like a charm.

My ex, though, took this scam a step further when she succeeded in poisoning the minds of all three of our daughters to completely reject me. As I have mentioned elsewhere in this section of my blog, I have no contact with any of them and have not laid eyes on my youngest for 20 years now.

Looking back after 20 years of being divorced from my ex, I still have not figured out exactly how this nightmare started. I ask myself, “Was I scammed by this woman? When we first met at that party in Nogales, Mexico, all those decades ago, did she see in me the hope which so many other impoverished Hispanic woman living in Mexico have…a ticket out of poverty and an opportunity of American citizenship through this relationship? Was the entire relationship built on deceit?”

And I honestly have to answer “yes” to those questions. I was young and at a vulnerable mental state at that time, having recently broken up with another woman whom I deeply loved and was engaged to be married to. And one of the worst things anyone can do while nursing a broken heart is seeking comfort and consolation in the arms of another person.

I was naive, foolish, and ignorant of the dynamics of a poverty stricken society like what is found in so many places in Mexico where upward mobility for many women can only be achieved by marrying someone “across the line.” I have since learned the real existence of this “cottage industry” in Mexico where poor, young, beautiful, single women are brought up to intentionally meet American men with the intent purpose of having a romantic relationship with them, getting married, having children, and then getting divorced and reaping a windfall from the ending of that relationship. As Efrain affirmed, it happens all the time.

The real tragedy from these failed relationships is not necessarily suffered by the divorcing couple. They will go on to meet and perhaps marry someone else and life goes on for them—but not for the innocent children who are torn apart by the destruction of their family. These are the true victims harmed by this sort of evil, and one of the myriad debilitating fallouts from divorce is the twin pathologies of “Parental Alienation (PA)” and its sister pathology, “Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS).”

My three children are victims of this marriage scam. Yes, I have suffered through the two divorces initiated and pursued by my ex wife (I married her twice and she divorced me twice), but I have long since recovered from those breakups. In fact, I now look back on her divorcing me and see it as a gift, setting me free and I’m glad to be rid of her. But our children are suffering and will suffer for the rest of their lives; this is the real tragedy.