Mary Spears – In Memorian

(Updated Oct. 27, 2022)

My older sister Mary died 49 years ago today; she was only 14 years old, a few weeks shy of her 15 birthday.

I loved Mary. She and I were very close and I have mourned her untimely passing for almost 50 years. What killed her was Lupus, a devastating disease back in those days, and which, because of her unique and severe case, has enabled other victims of Lupus to live healthier and fuller lives.

Mary Spears: October 5, 1958 – September 16, 1973.

Mary was one of the sweetest, kindest, and gentlest of people I have known. I never remember her in our short span of time together becoming angry. Her gentle, unassuming nature was wonderful.

It is not necessarily true that “time heals all wounds.” That wound in my soul from my best friend prematurely dying from a painfully horrific disease remains open; only when I see and hug her again will it forever close.

She is buried here in Tucson, AZ at “East Lawn Palms Mortuary and Cemetery.” I often visit her gravesite to honor her memory. Mary is the first person I hope to meet when I pass from this world and into the dimension she now lives in, a place, no doubt, filled with light, healing, and divine love.

Mary’s gravesite with our mom’s underneath.

For those familiar with the excellent “what3words” app, here is what I hope is the three word address of where her gravestone is located in this cemetery:

Here is an earlier post about my beautiful and precious sister.

Rest in peace, Mary.

Queen Elizabeth II: RIP

“Queen Elizabeth II, the UK’s longest-serving monarch, had died at Balmoral aged 96, after reigning for 70 years.” So wrote the BBC in their news story on this expected but sad event.

Like many people, I am fascinated and intrigued by the British Royal Family. Queen Elizabeth II illustrated, to me, some of the best this outdated monarchical system of government represented.

Queen Elizabeth II

She was the picture of elegance, grace, kindness, moral strength, femininity, and possessed an air of sophistication that was both serious and approachable. I admired her quiet, wise demeanor and the manner in which she handled herself in public.

One of her many admirable qualities that was attractive to me was her public persona, how she appeared on the world stage and in front of her own people. She carried herself as one would expect someone of her royal position: with a sober, noble bearing. Her even temperedness seemed to be a hallmark of her entire life as the Queen.

She represented to me a lifestyle and ancient heritage that unfortunately has long disappeared and perhaps was never realistic. Monarchies are fraught with abuses and excesses and those who sit on the royal throne are often some of the most selfish, power hungry and despicable of people: Queen Elizabeth was none of these but modeled everything good about it.

There is little argument that, among westerners, the British monarchy is the best known and is the best representation of this ancient governmental system. There is something alluring about a government that has a noble and wise king and queen sitting on their thrones dispensing justice, wisdom and inspiration to those they rule. Unfortunately, as noted above, history has proven that such systems seem to be black holes that attract the worst in people instead of the best. As the old saying goes, “Power corrupts, and absolute power corrupts absolutely.”

Many of us yearn for the mythical dynasty of King Arthur and the Knights of the Round Table—or at least the great and noble parts of Camelot. It is, of course, a dream that can never be realized, but so appealing to think that we could be ruled by such a good, noble, wise and gracious king.

I have sometimes thought how different my life would have been if I had been born into a royal family and reared by a mom and dad that possessed the greatest attributes so important to royalty: wisdom, strength, kindness, morality, godliness, fairness, modesty, concern and care for the weak and downtrodden, justice, etc.

A Canadian conservative writer I admire, Jonathnon Van Maren, penned this eulogy of Queen Elizabeth II that I believe expresses the sentiments of many who are mourning her passing.

Queen Elizabeth II gave a glimpse of how such a storybook lifestyle might indeed be possible, and though she did not rule over a kingdom like Camelot, she certainly personified portions of such. May she rest in peace.

Two Videos on Parental Alienation

“Parental Alienation (PA)” and its sister pathology, “Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS)” is estimated to affect 19% of the population in the United States. This is a frightening number of people that should qualify as a mental health crisis in this country and be dealt with as such.

I have written extensively over the years on these twin forms of child abuse because I have lost all three of my daughters to these devastating pathologies. One of my daughters I have not seen in almost 20 years; tragically, all three want nothing to do with me and has been this way for almost two decades.

Below are two videos that I believe will be helpful for all those who have been affected by these two forms of child abuse and intimate partner violence. As with many Youtube videos, often times they will be removed due to some type of alleged copyright or community standard violations. If this occurs with the two links below, please do an internet search which hopefully will take you to an updated link where you will be able to view them.

“Erasing Family (2020) – Full Documentary- US Divorce Court System”

The second video found below is in Spanish with English subtitles. Filmed in Argentina, it’s impact on the population was so powerful that major changes were instigated in the Argentinian family court system for father’s rights. You can read about this and other interesting facts about the creation of these two films here.

“Erasing Dad (Borrando a Papa) Documentary”