A friend of mine recently lied to me. That hurts.
It wasn’t one of those insignificant “white lies” that some people claim are no big deal. This particular lie damaged our friendship.
Lying is a serious matter. Lies breed distrust and can cause serious emotional pain. Her lie makes me question whether anything she has said is true.
“Lying lips are an abomination to the LORD, but those who deal faithfully are His delight.” Proverbs 12:22 (NASB)
The NET Bible puts it this way:
“The LORD abhors a person who lies, but those who deal truthfully are his delight.”
Note how God views lying; it is an abomination to Him. This is a strong word, defined as, “a person or thing that is disgusting; intense aversion or loathing; a vile, shameful, or detestable action, condition, habit, etc.”
I have learned that habitual liars cannot be trusted, with emphasis on the word habitual. Even the best of us, those who detest lying in all of its wretched forms, occasionally stumble into lying.
For example, imagine I ask someone I trust to read my blog and tell me what they think of my writing. Not wanting to hurt my feelings, they could say, “Great…some of the best writing on the Internet!” In reality, though, they might actually think, “My two-year-old can write better than this garbage.”
I’m not talking about this type of lying, as regrettable as it is; I’m targeting those whose lying is a normal part of who they are. These people lie as easily as they tell the truth. If telling the truth benefits them, they are truthful, but if lying is more expedient and advances their agenda, then telling lies is acceptable.
I was aware that my friend was not the most truthful person because I heard her lie to her own family members. In my more clear headed moments, I understood that if she lied to those closest to her then she was capable of lying to me. But I never thought she would actually lie to me.
When that moment arrives when you realize that someone you trusted has lied to you in a matter of importance, it’s shocking. You feel violated and angry, disbelieving that this person could do this to you.
Worse, you question every thing they now tell you, thinking, “Are they lying to me again? ” That sacred trust you once shared is shattered. Putting the pieces back together might be impossible. Something in your relationship has changed forever.
I don’t believe most of us realize how grave a matter lying is. The Bible lumps liars into the same group of the following unsavory characters:
“But for the cowardly and unbelieving and abominable and murderers and immoral persons and sorcerers and idolaters and all liars, their part will be in the lake that burns with fire and brimstone, which is the second death.” Revelation 21:8
Maybe its time for some of us to do some serious soul-searching, followed by repentance.